Assassin’s Creed (Xbox 360)

One of the massively-hyped games of 2007, Assassin’s Creed is a stealth game in which you play a Crusade-era assassin named Altair who has to go assassinate a bunch of Knights Templar. This is framed around a futuristic storyline in which some guy named Desmond, who is apparently a descendant of Altair, is being put through some sciencey bullshit (see, he has Star Trek DNA that does things real DNA doesn’t, like retain memories) to remember the location of some mystical object of power so that the evil corporation can take over the world or something like that. I don’t know, all you need to know is that the scientist’s assistant is voiced by Kristin Bell. Yes, Veronica Mars herself in a video game! What more do you need to know?

Okay, well, the actual assassinations take place in the Middle East cities of Jerusalem, Acre, and Damascus. Which, despite being in different countries now, are all located a short horse ride away. Just take the expressway, but watch out for the cops, they’re real jerks about the speed limit. Regardless, the cities are rendered absolutely wonderfully, and are just stunning to see.

Now, I’ll admit that the gameplay is repetitive. You do pretty much the same thing for all nine assassinations: climb towers to expand the map, help citizens in distress, collect flags or perform kills for hapless assassins, and interrogate local blowhards, in order to get enough information to make each kill. But, I don’t know, I liked it. The controls are tight – most of the time. Combat can veer between sheer awesomeness and sheer frustration, especially at the beginning. But running and jumping around on the rooftops is completely effortless and fun.

Aside from the repetition, there’s also not much replay value in this game. There was a lot of bullshit about how you can do the assassinations multiple ways, and that may be true, but I can’t say I’ve felt the need to try that out. Also, the ending is about the most abrupt ending ever made in a game since the days of “CONGRATURATION!” It couldn’t scream “We’re making a sequel!!!” any more if it had a megaphone. Despite these flaws, I think Assassin’s Creed is a good game, and is not deserving of the scorn it receives (outside of the mainstream game press). Doesn't mean that the mainstream game press is right about it being great, though.

3 out of 5