Heavenly Sword (PS3)

Hey kids, are you tired of games that are good? Want to play a mediocre action game with ridiculous characters? Then Heavenly Sword is the game for you! Not only will you be piling up the doctor bills will the carpal tunnel that all the brainless button-mashing will give you, you'll also curse the awkward controls when you have to shoot arrows at distant targets that are a slightly different shade of brown from the background!

And for lovers of the "quicktime events boss battle", boy oh boy are you going to have fun. No pedestrian method of having to defeat a boss with your regular attacks, you'll have to do the same long sequence of button presses with split-second margin for error, then when you fail you'll have to whittle the boss's health down for the nth time and do it all over again! I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't love this collection of modern gaming cliches! Buy it now, unless you like innovative gameplay!

2 out of 5